Reclaiming & Valentine’s Thoughts
Hi friends,Happy Valentine’s Day! Going into my birthday earlier this month (32!), I declared this my "year of reclaiming." In part, this goes along with making it a priority to focus on my book, Reclaim Pain, this year. On a deeper level, my claiming of reclaiming has to do with my internal process of exploring my relationship with myself and my difficulty taking up space with my art, expression and expansiveness.[gallery ids="614,615" type="rectangular"]For much of my life I have not felt worthy, valued or important. This feeling of being unimportant has penetrated on an embodied level. Considering all of the messages I have been inundated with as a person with disabilities and pain (among other things…queer, fat, Jewish, gender nonconforming…), this is no surprise. Like many oppressive messages that are internalized, it is challenging to separate myself from these messages when they are so rampant and such a tangible aspect of my daily lived experience.
In a piece I am working on I recently wrote, "To inhabit of body in pain is an act of social defiance."
I wholeheartedly believe, and live, this sentiment. My commitment to reclaiming my confidence and right to take up space with art and expression is an act of love to myself and to the world. It is not easy! It takes continual attention to my self-talk and perceptions. But for the first time, I am realizing that, however tenuous it feels, it may actually be true that I am worth it.There are plenty of valid reasons to grumble about Valentine’s Day (Heteronormativity… Heteropatriarchy... Commercialism… Capitalism... Christian hegemony… Cisgenderism...), but I enjoy celebrating it as a day to spread love. I hope you will join me today and every day in making a concerted effort to increase love for yourself and in the world.On this note, I sent you enormous, socially defiant love this Valentine’s Day!XOXOMa’ayanP.S. This is an amazing piece written by Rabbi Elliot Kukla, published in the New York Times in January. I know Elliot through the Bay Area Jewish Healing Center and wanted to be sure to share Elliot's beautiful, incredible words with you:"In My Chronic Illness, I Found a Deeper Meaning"https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/10/opinion/in-my-chronic-illness-i-found-a-deeper-meaning.html