Strategies to Challenge Self-Judgments

Strategies to Challenge Self-Judgments

Like many people in pain, I frequently experience negative self-judgments.

Whether about what I have or have not done in a day, my life choices, or fundamental worth, my judgments can feel endless!

If you are reading this, I’m guessing you can relate.

When left unchallenged negative self-judgments drain our emotional resources, such as confidence, clarity, and security.

In my free guide, Uproot Your Pain-Shaming Stories, I share some tools you can use when you experience pain shame and judgments.

Here are more strategies I use that I hope will help you!

Compassionately Challenge Your Self-Judgments

1. Question Assumptions

It is human nature to fill-in information gaps with conclusions that fit our perceptions.

But when our perceptions are skewed by negative biases—as they usually are in negative self-judgments—we make assumptions that are not representative of what is actually occurring.

For instance, maybe you are blaming yourself for a situation that you have less control over than you assume. Or, maybe you are minimizing your power in a situation that you have more control in than you assume.

Ask yourself:

• What conclusions am I drawing based on assumptions?

• How does taking away these assumptions change my judgments of myself?

2. Examine the Premise

When we judge ourselves, we often base our conclusions on a premise without questioning whether the premise is supported.

If we take even a few moments to check our judgments against what we know to be true of our character or track-record, it almost always becomes apparent that the premise of our judgment doesn’t line up.

For example, if the premise of my judgment is that I am irresponsible, careless, and mess everything up, but many examples of my actions and behaviors do not support this premise, my judgment is unfounded.

Ask yourself:

• What facts are in evidence to support the premise of my judgment?

• How does my premise align with what I know to be true of myself?

3. Explore Motivations

It can be rare to ask ourselves why we are making the self-judgments that we have. It is also common that our judgments rely on expectations that are virtually impossible, or at least difficult, to satisfy.

When we explore why we are making the self-judgment and where the expectations we are putting on ourselves come from, we can gain insight into our deeper motivations.

Perhaps these judgments are comforting because they are familiar, even if hurtful. Maybe the judgments provide a temporary sense of power over a situation. Or the expectations underlying the judgment are a distraction from something else.

Ask yourself:

• What purpose does my judgment serve?

• How does the situation or circumstance change if I let go of my judgments?

Do any of these strategies resonate for you? Or do you have other methods you use to challenge your self-judgments?

I’d love to know! Please comment below or contact me with your questions and reflections, or for further support.

And don’t forget to check out my free guide, Uproot Your Pain-Shaming Stories, for even more tools.

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